Sociology tells us that socialization is the process by which we learn to interact with other people (among other things). Well, either I've been inadequately socialized, or socialization has failed me: sometimes I just don't know how to interact with people. That is not to say that I do not wilfully suck at certain types of interaction. For example:
I'm out someplace and I see somebody I know and I don't want to meet them. What do I do? I RUN (or hide).
That's me being me! If I don't want to see you you shall not see me either. But then there's situations I don't want to suck at and yet I do because I simply don't know what to do.
I see somebody that I know because I read their blog/somebody told me to stalk them/I stalked them on my own/IT'S KAMILA SHAMSIE/we're diiiiistantly related/they're famous/I know them from school or whatever. But they don't know me. What do I do? I have no idea. This has happened more than once. I have two options: either I go up to talk to them at the expense of exposing myself as the creep/stalker that I am OR I just go home regretting that I did not meet them. What the fuck. Nobody told me what I'm supposed to do here.
To expand on the 'famous' situation: really, what is anybody supposed to do when they see somebody famous? What do I do if one fine day I'm just walking around and I see Tegan/Sara? What do I do, after checking my totem? Autograph makes sense. But then what? Bye Tegan/Sara, it was nice meeting you, I've wanted to meet you for the longest time, but NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR WHAT TO SAY SO I'M GOING TO GO?
No yaar. This is not right.
I often feel like I'm missing something. And you know what? Usually I'm OK at face-to-face interaction. It's not too awkward...unless I'm trying really hard to not make it awkward — because then I fail miserably. Whenever I try to be witty/charming, I fail. I can't think of anything to say.
I understand this happens to a lot of people, so why aren't we equipped through socialization to deal with these situations?
I'm out someplace and I see somebody I know and I don't want to meet them. What do I do? I RUN (or hide).
That's me being me! If I don't want to see you you shall not see me either. But then there's situations I don't want to suck at and yet I do because I simply don't know what to do.
I see somebody that I know because I read their blog/somebody told me to stalk them/I stalked them on my own/IT'S KAMILA SHAMSIE/we're diiiiistantly related/they're famous/I know them from school or whatever. But they don't know me. What do I do? I have no idea. This has happened more than once. I have two options: either I go up to talk to them at the expense of exposing myself as the creep/stalker that I am OR I just go home regretting that I did not meet them. What the fuck. Nobody told me what I'm supposed to do here.
To expand on the 'famous' situation: really, what is anybody supposed to do when they see somebody famous? What do I do if one fine day I'm just walking around and I see Tegan/Sara? What do I do, after checking my totem? Autograph makes sense. But then what? Bye Tegan/Sara, it was nice meeting you, I've wanted to meet you for the longest time, but NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR WHAT TO SAY SO I'M GOING TO GO?
No yaar. This is not right.
I often feel like I'm missing something. And you know what? Usually I'm OK at face-to-face interaction. It's not too awkward...unless I'm trying really hard to not make it awkward — because then I fail miserably. Whenever I try to be witty/charming, I fail. I can't think of anything to say.
I understand this happens to a lot of people, so why aren't we equipped through socialization to deal with these situations?
I get that a lot especially the wanting to hide :P
ReplyDeleteI have the exact same problem ^_^. Or at least, back in the day when I was studying Sociology (A levels) in Pakistan, and I had the same haircut as you etc. (I'm telling you, you're like younger me :) ), I used to wonder why my socialization didn't equip me for appropriate social interaction!
ReplyDeleteBut you know, 'sociology' (which is not a person) is wrong about this. Socialization is really not what forms people's personalities. In any event, it's good to just love yourself and not be too self-conscious.
Thanks for telling me this. Sometimes I just feel like I'm the odd one out and don't know what to do about it. But yes, I've understood that getting over it and being happy with the way I am is the best thing to do :D
ReplyDelete