PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT TO SHUT ME UP

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Having a crush

...I have a bad memory.

I forget things a lot. That's why I write stuff down so I don't forget it, I carry a planner and still don't know the names of all the people I have classes with. It's pretty bad.

But not too bad, it seems. I mean, when compared with my brother, who can remember all kinds of absurd things and random facts from history (it gets very annoying very fast, trust me) and how many hours I used the computer for in on a given day, it's pathetic, seeing how I can't even remember things from the seventh grade (yesterday I was watering the plants and trying to figure out if they do get water through leaves too). But when compared to normal people, I'm just below-average and compensated for it by my linguistic skills – WHICH BASICALLY MEANS a) I CAN MAKE UP ALL KINDS OF FANTASTIC STORIES b) I CAN GET BETTER MARKS THAN YOU, YES YOU, IN ENGLISH c) I DON'T HAVE TO LEARN LIKE 85% OF THE SAT WORDS CAUSE I ALREADY KNOW THEM and d) I CAN BE MEAN AND SARCASTIC AND AT THE SAME TIME ENTERTAINING, WHICH IS WHY I THINK I DON'T GET BEATEN UP FOR BEING MEAN TO PEOPLE. TAKE THAT, MEMORY-BOY.

Unfortunately, linguistic skills do not lead to modesty. Also, even though I can express my feelings in really gay flowery language (I write poetry, ffs), that doesn't mean I can actually tell people how I feel about them.

So. Dilemma.

History time! (the whole reason I told that sad story about my memory is going to be clear here because I can't remember a lot of details and might actually make a bit of this up)

I've had a lot of weird crushes. I've had weird ways of dealing with them.

1. Hugh Jackman.
Holy moly.

Talk about Hugh Jackman in my presence and I get all dreamy (just ask Babid). How have I dealt with having a crush on him? I watch his movies whenever they're on and start screaming OMG HUGH JACKMAN OMG HUGH JACKMAN every time he's on, even though I know perfectly well that he's in the movie. Seriously, Hugh Jackman.

I even like his stupid beard.


2. Gerard Way

GERARD WAY. HOW DO I DEAL WITH HAVING A CRUSH ON A GUY WHO IS AWESOME AND WHO HAS AN AWESOME WIFE? BY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF THERE'S A WAY OF GETTING MARRIED TO AN EXISTING COUPLE.

Seriously, if you don't want to break them up, might as well try to a) get adopted (omg!!! bandit as a sister) or b) figure out a way to allow them to be with each other as well as with me. It doesn't make sense, I know. But it makes sense in my head, and it will make sense in yours too when you look at him.

CHERRY BOMB

They're so happy. You can't break them up!

3. Have you ever built a shrine in your desk (complete with a fire and prasad?)

I HAVE.

Basically, I've done all kinds of silly things, from killing hours' worth of time to staring at facebook chat for minutes on end to writing poetry to dedicating stuff I've written to giving up coffee for a week (hey, if you know me, you know how big a deal that is) to giving away something I needed (I NEED IT NOW TOO, GIVE BACK MY BOOK YOU LOSER) to allowing myself to be deluded.

Why do we do stupid things? I why I do them – because We are young and we don't care as MCR say (IloveyouGerardWay!) and I'm going to keep consciously doing stupid things until I'm, like, 70, and then I'll just have an excuse to do whatever I want because my memory will be so much worse and my story-making-up-abilities so much better that everyone will just basically let me do whatever I want, writing it off as old age. AWESOME. Example:

Stealing books: OH I'm so sorry! Is this your book? Oh, is this a bookstore? I'm so sorry. I thought I was in my library. Did you know that in my times we had libraries? In 2020 I had a big library full of books in my house and I had a book just like this in it. The library was really big, with four, or wait, was it five? Five whole shelves dedicated just to this kind of foreign fiction, well, it wasn't really big like a bookstore, but what? I can keep it? Thanks.

or I might just be really famous like Margaret Atwood and then of course I will have book tours with travelling weirdos, just like she has. Nobody will know because 50 years from now although people will know about Margaret Atwood it'd have slipped their minds that this was all her idea and then I can steal it and pretend I came up with it all by myself. When confronted with the fact that I stole it, I'll just say THAT I FORGOT.

Like Ted says, old age is awesome. Except that it mostly isn't, and the above ideas are just me thinking about growing old which I don't want to. I wanna be young forever! – this is what happens when you read Dorian Gray, kids. Also, Peter Pan.

I don't care what anyone says, I only think of Jude Law as Dorian Gray.

So, what're your plans for when you're old? And what are some stupid things you've done just because of a crush?

3 comments:

  1. i made a shrine of Jackky Bhagnani on my desk. like loads of his pictures and all that. as for the fire and prasad, i have like a lamp that shines in his face and some old toffees. fail. :P

    i'm a bit boy-crazy so i have loads of crushes on every mildly good looking boy i see. but i don't think i've done anything stupid, or maybe i have and i can't remember.

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  2. Hahahahah. My shrine was something like that too. I had a candle and those awesome football wale chocolates. And on a piece of paper I wrote PLEASE ACCEPT OUR OFFERINGS.

    Really? You can't? Maybe you repressed the memories :P

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  3. Jude Law - Dorian Gray?
    Yesss!

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