I'm writing here again because I miss this blog. This is what I do. Start, ditch, return. Life works in cycles.
So it's 2013 now and it's funny that it began the way 2012 began, with me working on apps on the 31st. When I think of it that way I feel like I've wasted a year, which I have, in a way, and which I haven't, in another. Only time can tell, but it's a question of Moving On With Life or Gaining Wisdom/Insight.
After this year-long limbo and the wisdom it has bequeathed me, I now want to Move On.
Which is kinda what I expected from 2012. I expected to be flying high, celebrating 21 December 2012 in, well, you know. I won't say the name.
Let's get one thing straight right away. A lot of my friends, bless their hearts, try to make me see the other side of things. The happy side. I get it. Fine. In a way, my life isn't a total complete utter mess.
But it is. I mean, other than the things that I've learnt this year -- I really shudder to think that I have wasted a full year of my life. I didn't get into college and I don't want to not go into academia. I've seen what I can do outside of it -- work in development, maybe, or get a marketing job and make tonnes of money and live comfortably. I DON'T WANT TO. All this time outside of it, I know for sure, on the double, what I don't want.
It's like losing somebody you love, minus the sentimentality. Am I making sense? My resolution for this blog is to not give a fuck about sounding 14. I am done seeking profundity and am willing to settle for profanity.
I don't know why whenever I start talking I inevitably circle back to College or The-College-That-Must-Not-Be-Named. Ok, I know why. I have to stop doing it because it is putting people off. No, actually, I have to stop doing it because it's putting me off.
Well, I've decided that I'm going to work on projects every month in order to stay sane. I don't know what I am going to do when I get rejected again in March/April. I think I'll get into the Lahori *cough* university, and I guess I'll go there. Not thinking about that.
I'm really not thinking about the future much these days. I've mostly even stopped daydreaming about College. I just...listen to stories, most of the time. A lot of This American Life. And, of course, I read articles and essays and such.
I'm letting my hair grow long. Maybe till the sides get to my shoulders.
I'm still deciding on resolutions other than reading and writing. Thinking about trying these.